


Not your average TED talk

by kangeiko



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony has no tact, or sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 15:25:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13238613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kangeiko/pseuds/kangeiko
Summary: Tony is the sort of friend who - if you call him because you feel horrible - will turn up with tequila, a jet pack and a stripper. You'll still feel horrible, but you'll be a lot more entertained during it.Anyway, Rhodey has enough strippers for the moment, thank you. (The strippers are hypothetical. The jet pack, unfortunately, is not.)





	Not your average TED talk

**Author's Note:**

> I keep trying to make a plot happen with these two, but Tony won't sit still and Rhodey is on his last nerve, so have some bickering instead.

“All I’m saying -”

“Not listening.”

“All I’m _saying_ , is - for fuck’s sake, Tony!”

Tony snapped open the visor on his welding helmet and raised an eyebrow. “I’ll be honest, sugarplum, I was expecting something a little more guilt-trippy.”

“Oh, I can give you guilt-trippy,” Rhodes said with considerable heat, maneuvering around the stripped-down chassis with what looked to be more staged than actual difficulty. “Are you going to help a poor injured brother out, here, or just watch me struggle?”

“Mostly watch,” Tony offered, staggering to his feet. He felt the familiar dip and spin that signalled he’d been in his crouched position for too long and shook his head to clear it. “You okay in that tricycle? Don’t need me to add some extra training wheels or anything?” He slid into position behind Rhodes, easing the lip of the wheelchair past the edge of the gutted engine in parts on the floor and pushing him into the clearer space of the workstation.

“Don’t you touch my wheelchair, I don’t want to find fucking rockets or whathaveyou on it,” Rhodes said, snapping the break on and leaning back to stare at Tony where he loomed over the back of the chair. “You haven’t been sleeping.”

“Rockets?” Tony moved away, sliding his helmet off and dumping it on the ground with a dull _thud_.

“Or whathaveyou.” Rhodes folded his arms. “So.”

Tony looked away. “Are you here for a social call, or are you on the military’s dime? Because -”

“You know you suck at changing the subject, right? It’s like working with a toddler, _hey, look, behind you!_ ”

“I’ve never been so insulted in my life,” Tony said to the back of his head as he slid into a squat behind the wheelchair and started prodding the wheels. “I’ll have you know I’m the _master_ of misdirection.”

“Right. That’s why you’re hiding out here, disassembling a clapped-out old banger, instead of working on the suit, or even, God forbid, getting more than three hours of sleep.” Rhodes twisted to look over his shoulder. “Are you listening to me?”

“Not even a little. Hey, how come you’ve let someone play around with this thing but you won’t let me touch it?”

“I haven’t let anyone play around with it, and quit changing the subject. I figured you wouldn't be sleeping, but the suit? C’mon.”

Tony knelt, leaning forward until his chin was resting on Rhodes’s shoulder. “You’re ridiculous, you know? Like a dog with a bone.”

“Oh?” Rhodes turned too quickly and managed to bang his forehead into Tony’s. “I’m the one who’s not letting things go, here, yup. I get it.”

“That’s not what I -”

“No, no, I get it, I’m the obsessive one, sure. That’s why you have circles under your eyes to rival a boxer, and you still don’t have a working suit, but I somehow have three prototypes to try out.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re a walking cliche at this point, Tones.”

Tony stopped trying to simultaneously wriggle away from Rhodes’s scrutiny and worm his fingers into the hydraulics behind the wheels, pausing with his forehead pressed against Rhodes’s shoulder. After a moment, he pulled back enough so he could meet Rhodes’s eyes. “Yeah?”

He felt Rhodes shrug a little beneath him. “Sorry, Tony. I say it with love, you know I do. But this - it has to stop.”

The corner of Tony’s mouth quirked up in a mirthless smile. “The prototypes?”

Rhodes pulled away, snapping the brake off and maneuvering the chair around so he could face Tony head-on. “The prototypes. The endless fucking -” he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “There’s nothing wrong with the fucking wheelchair, Tones. You didn’t put me in it, and my life isn’t over because of it. You need to just - let it go. Okay?”

After a moment, Tony looked up at him from his kneeling position. “And if I can’t? If I - ow!” He reached a hand back to rub at the back of his head. “Are you kidding me? We were having a moment!”

Rhodes sat back and raised an eyebrow. “Say stupid things, get smacked; it’s cause and effect. Maybe if I’d employed that a little earlier with you, you wouldn’t have turned out so - so stupid. This is in no way detracts from the moment, by the way.”

“I’m not stupid, _you’re_ stupid,” Tony said sullenly, still rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah. Of the two of us, which one has locked himself away from all human contact and built a fucking jetpack for my wheelchair rather than, say, eating a sandwich or _repairing the fucking suit_?”

“That jetpack was awesome and you have no taste,” Tony said after a moment, but there was no heat in his voice. “I just…” He trailed off, looking away. “Until everything stabilises, I can’t do much with the prosthetics, so I thought…”

“Give me strength,” Rhodes muttered, looked up at the ceiling for guidance. DUM-E wheeled forwards at that, making an enquiring sound as he approached. Rhodes waved him away with a tired hand. “Not meant for you, buddy. Idiom. Or, you know, prayer.”

With another beep, DUM-E wheeled back to his charging station.

Rhodes looked back at Tony and sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Tones, I love you, but you’re gonna drive me nuts with this. Pick a project, _any_ project, and work on that for a bit instead, okay? But for the love of god, stop helicopter parenting me before I smack you for real.”

“Worst motivational speech ever,” Tony muttered.

“Shut up. It was awesome enough for a TED talk.”

Tony scowled. “That tells me more about TED talks than - OW, would you _quit it!_ ”

*

fin


End file.
